5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…
by Rasei
Summary: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One
1. Leaving Home

**Title**: 5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…

**Chapter Title**: Leaving Home

**Author**: Rasei

**Summary**: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One

**Prompt**: Sometimes Merlin smiles to hide the pain.

* * *

He understood his mother's reasons, but still he feels ill as he leaves the home he loves. Even if he was teased for being a bastard, the village was still home.

The walk to Camelot was hard for a simple farm boy. His first night out in the open, he was sure bandits would attack. None did, and he arrived safely.

Even after meeting Gaius, he was scared. After all, he was sent to very castle of the person that started the Purge that wiped out people like him.

Even as he smiles in his new home, he wants to cry. Wanting to go home. For Camelot is not his home. At least not yet.


	2. Sick

**Title**: 5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…

**Chapter Title**: Sick

**Author**: Rasei

**Summary**: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One

**Prompt**: Sometimes Merlin smiles to hide the pain.

* * *

He tries to hid the fact he still aches from the poison, knowing as a servant no one would really care.

So the prat saved him? Less then a week later, the prat is sending him to the stocks.

His fever is back, as he shivered in the drizzle. His eyes were almost closed, as his legs struggle to hold his weight.

"Have you learn... Are you well?"

He snorts, and tries to gain enough energy to be sarcastic. Instead his eyes shut. He feels someone freeing him, yelling.

Merlin cannot help but to smile as Gaius scold Arthur.


	3. Bandit Killing

**Title**: 5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…

**Chapter Title**: Bandit Killing

**Author**: Rasei

**Summary**: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One

**Prompt**: Sometimes Merlin smiles to hide the pain.

* * *

It had been an accident of sort. Arthur and the hunting parting was attacked by bandits again. Merlin saved Arthur. Again.

There was to many people to safely use his magic. So when Arthur was almost back stab, Merlin used a died bandit's sword to cut down the person without thinking.

As the blood splatter, Merlin stepped back stunned. The body hit the ground, as Arthur turned around.

"Good hit, Merlin," Arthur states after the fight. Merlin just wanted to throw up. Instead he force himself to smile and nod his head.

It wasn't until that night, he allowed himself to grieve for the lost of life. No one ever mentions to him about his loud nightmares that night or the fact he throws up multiple times.


	4. Will

**Title**: 5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…

**Chapter Title**: Will

**Author**: Rasei

**Summary**: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One

**Prompt**: Sometimes Merlin smiles to hide the pain.

* * *

_"Will, promise me we always be friends."_

_"Of course we will Merlin, forever."_

* * *

The promise rang through my mind, as we headed back to Camelot. The girls was talking lowly about what happened back at Ealdor, making me want to scream. Will was dead. My best friend, the only one I'm not related to that fully accepted me.

Arthur laughs at something Morgana said, making me want to yell. How could they laugh when Will dead? Arthur didn't care because Will took the blame for MY magic, but I thought that at least the girls would understand.

When one of them asked me if I was okay, I just smile and nod my head. After all, to them he is just a sorcerer.


	5. Nightmares

**Title**: 5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…

**Chapter Title**: Nightmares

**Author**: Rasei

**Summary**: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One

**Prompt**: Sometimes Merlin smiles to hide the pain.

* * *

My body shivers as I draw closer to the island. What if I'm to late? What if Gaius is already dead? What if I could not convince Nimueh to take my life instead?

I arrive at the island, only to find both Nimueh and Gaius dead. Out of the corner of my eye, noticed another body near theirs. Going closer, I soon realize that it was Arthur's. I open my mouth to scream, when I woke up.

I am in my room at the castle. I sighed with relief, as I peeked outside the window. It was so close losing the people I love, to close. How could I ever sleep peacefully knowing that everything was almost lost?

As the sun raises, I got dress for the day. Like every other day, I smile whenever anyone looked at me. After all, I don't want anyone to worry about me instead of watching their backs.


	6. and One Time He Did

**Title**: 5 Times Merlin Didn't Mean the Smile…

**Chapter Title**: … and One Time He Did

**Author**: Rasei

**Summary**: Merlin smiles, but sometimes he doesn't mean it. Season One

**Prompt**: Sometimes Merlin smiles to hide the pain.

**A/N:** I might do the rest of the series in the same format. I'm not sure yet.

* * *

It was a normal day for Merlin looking after Prince Prat. Completely normal, including going hunting, getting attack by bandits, than an assassination attempt when they got back, then supper getting interrupted by a magical creature. That wasn't including Merlin's chores either.

Merlin was not a happy person as he dragged his way up to his quarters. As he pause at the door, he hears mumbling inside the room. He sighs, wondering what was wrong now.

He opened the door to find Gwen, Morgana, and Gaius sitting around the table with a small cake. Merlin tried to smile at the girls, but he was much too tired to smile. The three returned his pitiful attempt to smile.

"Hello, Lady Morgana, Gwen," Merlin said, quietly.

"Merlin, sit down. We were about to cut the cake. Have you eaten dinner yet?" asked Gaius, standing to get a plate.

"I just want to… Is that my favorite meal?" asked Merlin. Maybe he forgot a birthday? Maybe it was his birthday?

"I made it, with Lady Morgana's help," said Gwen. Merlin nod his head, and sat down in the chair in front of Morgana. Maybe they will be quick, then he could go to bed.

"Where is Arthur? He was suppose to be here." Merlin flinched, as Morgana glared at the door.

"Arthur went to bed. It been a long day," Merlin made an excuse to Morgana. Morgana snorted, then shook her head.

"And he help planned this too."

"Plan what?" asked Merlin. The three just stared at him, then Morgana chuckled.

"Do you know what happen on this day just one year ago?"

"No."

"My boy, you came to Camelot." Merlin looked at Gaius as Gaius dropped the plate in front of him.

"I… Oh… It's not important," Merlin said,looking into his lap. A year? A whole year?

"Yes, it is. I would be bored if you didn't come," came a familiar voice from the door. Merlin looked over at Arthur, who must have dress himself hurriedly.

"Arthur, your shirt is on backwards," Merlin said lightly. Arthur blushed, and started fixing the shirt. Gwen blushed and looked down into her lap.

The room soon filled with laughter, and carefree talking. Merlin couldn't help but smile. He didn't notice his head hitting the table, nor even that fact he fell asleep in his cake. After all, he was safe and sound at home.


End file.
